Skipping work

Today would be my 5th tardiness for the month so I skipped work.

I feel weird, I have been back to thinking during mornings (you know, the time you wake up and actually get up) I feel weird , like... lonely weird and guilty weird.

Renelyn, a friend of mine at the office stopped talking to me - the friendly type of talk, and at first, I thought she's just having somewhat a prolonged mood swing but yesterday I went to the restroom and she didn't even look me in the eye. That bothered me a lot. Let us say that I had a really foul mood after that. Most likely that's the reason for the lonely weird feeling.

The guilty weird feeling, I think comes from me not going to work today. That instead of working, I went to the mall to buy a book, went to greenhills and bought more stuff and went to trinoma, sang to my hearts content and watched One More Try which I hated very much.

And now I feel like avoiding the mall for a good deal of time :) but good heavens! Today felt good, especially that I bought a new swimwear and of course that I sang my heart out :))

It's always darkest before the dawn

Its funny to think that I was dying to write another blog post, yet here I am staring at the whiteness of the screen and not have anything to say at all! But since I really am dying to write another blog post, please allow me to rant about how my day went.

I was supposed to go to the office early today, like around on or before 10 AM, unfortunately, I was having this bad headache and the bed is too comfortable and friendly to me that I actually got out of bed at 10 AM - not because I did sleep, but I let my mind make excuses not to get up. I think that's pretty much the reason why I always get late: thinking of reasons why not to get up. I was oblivious about it at first, but one morning it just struck me. It has become a habit. And I always am late for work. After the realization, I decided eventually to move on autopilot on weekday mornings if I do want to keep my job (management's pretty strict on attendance). In this case, not that I do not want to work today - I just don't want to move - besides, its Saturday.

After waylaying and talking to my mom about my plans on further studies, I finally took a bath, ate a little and off to work. Trains have been an essential part of my life, yes, even though I get squished by strangers during rush hour and honestly think that it makes me more of a mean person day by day. You see, these are strangers who doesn't care about other strangers (more often than not), and who needs to ride the train to get to work - and when crappy things happen like train technicalities which causes delay on transportation: "to hell with caring and being selfless, I'll shove you if I have to because I think only of myself ". Do you get me? I hope you do, because I have been thinking about it a lot. 

I got in the office at around 12 noon - and its almost lunch time and lunch is already almost served in the office (chicken, tilapia, bangus, mangga, laing, chopsuey - yum!). There are only a bunch of us in the office mostly people in Finance and Steph (my fellow HR officemate). After we had our hearty lunch, Ms. Baby called me to have a meeting and to tell you the truth, I am actually starting to like having meetings, because I can almost brag about how 'well' I do work (haha! believe me I am boastful on the inside) Hearing 'very good' was not a usual thing to me when I was in my previous work, but I think, I'm getting used to hearing it here and it just feeds my boast-o-meter; definitely not in a bad way. It actually motivates me to do things better if not the best. 

It was past 6:00 PM when Steph and I decided to call it a day and head home. It was tiring, and my head is still aching a bit, nevertheless I feel accomplished, I was able to really finish my agenda for the day! yay!

My day ended pretty nice since all of us including lola (except Niño) were gathered in the dining area talking about old day classic music (Kenny Rankin, Tina Turner, Led Zeppelin, Michael Jackson, Simon & Garfunkel, Earth Wind & Fire, etc.) which my dad was a little bit enthusiastic about, and my mom, just smiles at dad, and lola just smiles at dad too (and tells random stories because she has a weak hearing and cannot fully understand what dad is actually saying), Aya commenting on how corny I am and she already knows to whom I got it from. I feel happy and it's a nice feeling - it overpowers all the negativity in the world. 

We all went back to our own businesses after that. I guess, I'm pretty much happy with what I wrote... 

P.S. I already finished reading The Perks of Being a Wallflower. 

How Do I Love Thee, Let me count the ways...

by Elizabeth Barrett Browning (1806-1861)

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight For the ends of Being and ideal Grace. I love thee to the level of everyday's Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light. I love thee freely, as men strive for Right; I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise. I love thee with a passion put to use In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith. I love thee with a love I seemed to lose With my lost saints, --- I love thee with the breath, Smiles, tears, of all my life! --- and, if God choose, I shall but love thee better after death.